Archive for May, 2012

What is an attractive woman to me? Certainly it is not what society tries to shove down my throat. It is a double ended sword here because we have the corporate male trying to dictate exactly what it is a woman should wear and what defines her as “sexy“- then we have the self depreciating woman who would do anything for fame and fortune and conform to the “big guys” ideals.

 A woman is not sexy to me by wearing less clothes- nor is she attractive. When i see a woman submit to societies interpretation of “sexy” i simply see her as a slave to her environment. To me an attractive woman is one with intelligence, who is not only literally smart but also wise- by knowing she does not need to submit to mans desires for her to even be remotely successful.

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Want to buy these women? I mean the bike!

When i see a woman being used in advertisements with her body plastered all over a car, i actually feel sorry for her, not to mention i feel sorry for the deluded male that somehow feels a higher urge to purchase such a car thinking that women like her would be drawn to it. Women are used as sexual tools from many different perspectives and the terrible thing is she falls for it over and over again.

 If a woman in a Burqa stood in front of a car for an advertisement would it be appealing? Why not? Is it because you cannot see anything? How does it effect the car and its performance? It does not- it simply shows that the woman being thrown on the foreground of an ad is simply an accessory and is nothing short of used, to continue to feed societies gluttonous taste of women.

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Could she take those 7 inches?

When we look at lady magazines along the lines of Cleo, Cosmopolitan and Bazaar we notice that women are being programmed to accept what “Beauty” is – when in fact every image in that magazine is a fabrication- a Photoshopped, edited and manipulated being. When a woman witnesses what societies bar of beauty is, and that they are nowhere near this bar, they begin to resort surgery, procedures, eating disorders and insane fad diets.

 I only wish women would finally throw away those trashy magazines that give them nothing but rob them of their appreciation for what they have. I wish women would finally throw the towel when it comes to the promotion of beauty, by REFUSING to be used by the elitist man who promises fame and fortune for self degradation and a big feeding of societies misunderstanding of women.

I want to respect a woman for her intellect, for her NATURAL beauty and self respect. A woman with confidence and a bit of “inner rebel” for rejecting mans warped interpretation of women. Women are no less sex objects than they ever have been, they are still slaves, they are still puppets to their masters and they still aren’t secure enough to stand up and put an end to this degradation.

Put some clothes on. Pick up a book. Become confident. Remain Natural and be Respectful. Now THAT is the “beauty” of a real woman- one who grew wings and flew away from this worlds “expectations“.

Peace, Salam Alaykum

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Love advice- it is something that many people turn to. A piece of affirmation as to whether or not a persons instincts are right and yet we notice an increase in divorce and short term relationships. Let us get one thing straight right away- the partner that you really really wish for very likely does not exist. Whoever you end up with there will always be something that irks you about them, there will always be things we wish they could change, there will always be annoying habits and things we simply do not understand- yet does that mean you shouldn’t be with them? Definitely not! Love is a lot more than a bunch of checklists.

I find that sadly girls tend to fall for this trap a lot more than men- where they are used for their vulnerability and their insecurities are exploited by the media and book market- where so called “professionals” on love tell them exactly who is right for them. Who could ever forget not only the best selling book “He’s just not that into you” that was later turned to another hit movie – where girls are shown to be taken advantage of, left to hang and dry by certain types of guys- giving them the cards of victim hood and placing vulnerable women in an even more isolated corner, that perhaps the guy that does not follow these guidelines will soon dump her – so better she do it first.

If we examine a few quotes in the film “He’s Just Not That Into You” – which is tame compared to the books we see it places women in that helpless position where pretty much all guys are jackasses and she is always better off alone.

Gigi: “Maybe his grandma died or maybe he lost my number or is out of town or got hit by a cab… ”
Alex: “Or maybe he is not interested in seeing you again.”

Alex: So trust me when I say if a guy is treating you like he doesn’t give a shit, he genuinely doesn’t give a shit. No exceptions.

Gigi: Ok- I’m making out with this guy, PG stuff. He mentions he’s going out of town so he’s gonna be out of touch.
Alex: Run.
Gigi: But maybe he is going out of town.
Alex: To where? New Guinea? Where’s he gonna be that he’s gonna be out of touch?

Alex: If a guy doesn’t call you, he doesn’t want to call you.

In the film and worse off in the book we see something that is trending- the image that men never have a good enough excuse and almost by nature us men are designed to play women and treat them like garbage. That if he doesn’t call, that if he is genuinely away for a while, that if he doesn’t respond to a message, that if he gives different signals that suddenly he is most surely out to break your heart and thinks nothing of you- quiet clearly such writings and films are degrading to women, whilst trying to “liberate” them and even more-so is it harsh towards men, saying if we do not conform to certain checklists and guides and if we fall outside a particular circle, that we are not worth keeping. What a catastrophe.

Why are we then surprised when we see girls especially being paranoid- suspicion and doubt runs into their minds- which is why you get the “Where are you?” “Who are you with?” “But you said 7 o’clock” “Why didn’t you reply” messages. Naturally inclined most women would be open to trusting their man and allowing trust to be the foundation of their relationship, yet when outside influences such as books, magazine articles and the media interfere you see that suddenly an irrational paranoia is in place and a vulnerable woman is made to be even more mentally weak.

I expect that when i tell my lady that i’m somewhere- she believes me. When i tell her who i am with- she believes me. That when i am away, she trusts me. That when I’m afar, she misses me and that no matter what she loves me. That is the essence of a relationship. It doesn’t matter how many times a day a man calls you– if he is doing it for the sake of “protecting” your relationship, then indeed it is nothing short of a scam. It doesn’t matter if you see each other once a week, if that day you are together is the most amazing day of that week, then why sacrifice that feeling all for the sake of having a security blanket. The blanket of knowing he see’s you more  than once weekly because “that’s not enough” according to your deceitful books of delusion advice.

Wonderful relationships are being destroyed by these ideals of a perfect partner. Well that perfect partner that you and i both want does not exist. It is nothing but a fabrication made up in your own mind of fantasy- constantly fed by those “love stories” that ironically are always found in fairy tales. I for one know that i will never judge my woman based on some checklists and guidelines, nor a book that has a scorecard or a tally for women to see what “category” their man falls for. At the end of the day it really is NOT complicated, if a relationship is well and truly off- and if your man or woman is not treating you right then something called common sense would prevail.


Yet if there are things you don’t “like” about your partner, another dislike will be found in another partner. The fact is we have to learn to deal with and live with things that we are not entirely comfortable with– it doesn’t mean it’s a relationship not worth keeping, because relationships only grow and love does not need a guide book nor any helping hand. Every man is different we are a lot more than beings to be figured out in some book. We all work and act differently and we are all individual, and i don’t care what your stupid books say in regards to certain actions or lack of action from my behalf- in the end it is simply a fattening dose of insecurity being force fed through your throats and turning all forms of love sour and leaving a world of women with expectations that make no sense and loners with wishful thinking.

He’s just not that into you? I don’t think so. You’re just not that into yourself- otherwise you’d know what’s best for you before any ramblings of mid life crisis candidates.

Peace, Salam Alaykum.

Now before people take the title of this post the wrong way i want you to read into it further and why i state that “Gay marriage does not concern me“.  Recently President Obama lit up many peoples hearts and hopes by stating that he “supports” Gay marriage- yet to me this is something that is said to simply please an audience and its surrounds- he knows the words are empty because unlike Australia where the law is federal and would apply allover- in the United States it is only supported as per state and each state is not subjected to a forced “Gay Marriage” allowance- hence Obama does not stop states that do not support gay marriage.

So he may claim he “supports” it day and night, he knows the end decision is made by the state and not himself, hence he could sing any song to win votes yet personally i am not buying it. Now as a heterosexual male i don’t feel an immense urge to support or condemn the situation around gay marriage. I am not a part of that community, though i must say that ANY group that feels discriminated against and is fighting for a right they believe to be theirs, then GO FOR GOLD!  Yet i am not in their position, i cannot relate to how they feel- full knowing i can and will marry.

Yet do not expect me to march in rallies, nor expect me to be extremely vocal about it either. I support you and your right to fight oppression and in that aspect i am entirely with you, yet the cause you fight for is a cause that i am not a part of- just as much as i don’t expect a gay man to rally against Islamophobia, i hope i am not expected to protest against homophobia- though i have to proclaim i am entirely against the irrational fear of ANY people whether it be based on their race, religion or sexual orientation.

Gay Marriage doesn’t concern me because i do not believe the government has any right to govern what people do with their own bodies and lives– i find the whole notion of the government controlling all aspects of our lives to be rather sickening. If i were to count the amount of unjust things our governments get away with i would be rallying every day, i just feel these people have no right to dictate how we live our lives- whether secular or religious, we own our own bodies and what you do with your body is none of my business.

Hence by me being active in the rights of gay marriage it becomes my business and i feel that i have no right to speak for, support or encourage gay marriage– though i definitely don’t speak against it either nor mistreat people for being homosexual. I feel the gay community SHOULD fight for their rights that they are passionate about, because they are fighting against the same government that sanctions many more injustices and discrimination- so i can urge the people WITHIN that community to do whatever they feel is right, and if gay marriage is something they believe they have a right to- then go for it, but i assure you that the fight is in David and Goliath terms.

What i dislike is how people assume that just because i don’t personally encourage or condone homosexuality that i am homophobic- that is entirely wrong. As cliche as it sounds i work with many, many wonderful people and their sexual orientation does not bother me, nor does it get in the way of respectful and friendly dialogue. I just dont think the “with or against us” culture is one that is healthy– for some topics we should be allowed to sit on the fence and observe, i am with the homosexuals in their fight against oppression yet the cause is none of my concern so i will sit and wait it out- the outcome is in the power of the homosexual community, not mine.

Peace, Salam Alaykum

Some people tend to associate “humility” with becoming a hermit like monk and it appears we have misunderstood the true meaning of the word “Humility” and the amazing capabilities this simple action could have on each and every one of us. According to the handy dictionary i have this is the meaning of the word “Humility”.

” A modest opinion or estimate of one’s own importance, rank etc”.

Today the word “humility” appears to have depleted from the human condition, because I’m just not seeing it. I have barely come across a truly humble person, one who really fits into this beautiful definition and don’t think for one second that i believe i fit into it either, although i will endeavor to become more humble. We notice that injustice and mistreatment comes once we start putting ourselves on some pedestal, where we define ourselves as “better” than other people. Once we acknowledge that we are better than another human being, automatically it becomes just within ourselves to treat them differently.

This is where the damage occurs- once we drown ourselves in our own egos, where we idolize ourselves, where we look down upon others because we have out achieved them then it is more than clear that this effects our personalities, we become ego driven drones who consciously or subconsciously treat people like utter garbage. Yes, you may have worked hard to be where you are right now. Yes, you may be amazingly intelligent and certainly people may praise you day and night for your achievements- yet the true beauty comes from how you respond to such reception. Do you allow this information to feed you to a gluttonous state and get to your head? Or do you shy away from this information and take it in true humility and warmth, whether it be true or not- how would you respond?

Humility is simple, it is where regardless of your position or hierarchy in this society- you still see other people as PEOPLE– they are eye to eye on your level because they are fellow beings. It is with this simple understanding that indeed one can be extremely successful and also extremely liked. People often make the mistake of leaving humility outside once they have reached a certain level or position of power- once the ego is fed the power becomes an extreme urge and more is never enough.

Looking down on others is the direct response to losing your humility and most people tend to link humility to weakness. The fact is that it is a strength. It shows you are secure enough in who you are, and how you perform in life to not require nor rely on peoples compliments or praises. When one is humble they could be on top of the world and never know it, because their head is still here on Earth. Indeed they could have ideas that reach for outer space, yet their heart is still here on earth amongst the people- outsiders recognize this and once a person is recognized for being humble they become a true iconic figure in society.

So yes, you can gloat and boast around- you could adjust society and people into different classes and you could excuse yourself for treating each kind differently yet at the end of the day this power trip is the biggest weakness of them all. You feel that you earn the right to treat people terribly because you “got to where you are today” . The fact is we all started from the exact same thing and place. Einstein and a future Farmer may have been facing each other as babies, hands linked and eyes staring with wide smiles- true innocense and true humility. Let’s reclaim this word back from the dictionary and let us reclaim this action back into humanity.

“And the servants of the Beneficent Allah are they who walk on the earth in humbleness, and when the ignorant address them, they say: ‘Peace’!.”
(Quran 25: 63)

May i be guided to be more humble.

Salam Alaykum, Peace.

Mistakes…something we all make in our lives. I am one that has fallen in some really deep stuff and have done some things i regret immensely. Did i learn from these mistakes? For the most part indeed i did, and certainly i think that is the case for most people. It is true that trial and error is exactly what shapes us to eventually be better people- yet there is something i have noticed. 

The position of us being “imperfect” and “only human” appears to be an excuse for us-  whatever wrong we will commit to already has a back up plan, surely the scripted response to our own actions is already laid out on the table, besides “We all make mistakes, right?”. Well lets not state the obvious, yes we are human and we are prone to error- yet for me this is a lazy excuse and a convenient saying of which what we do ends up baring next to no responsibility and our actions are masked by our vulnerable state of mind.

Before you do something that you know will wrong yourself; or others for that matter…think about it for a minute. Do not fall back on the comfort of being imperfect. Instead we should focus on our strengths and potential for being amazing beings by stopping ourselves before doing something damaging to ourselves or other people- indeed this is the most honorable way. We become too complacent and rely on our human status as being imperfect beings and expect forgiveness as a default for making a “mistake”.

If doing wrong only makes you a human, what does stopping yourself from doing wrong make you? A SUPER human! So why don’t you become a super human? Yes, i realize we are all imperfect beings and we all make HONEST mistakes, yet something tells me most mistakes we make are not honest- nor innocent..yet they are decisions we make knowing that the excuse for “imperfection” will always be there to save the day…

Well not today my friend.

Peace, Salam Alaykum