Archive for June, 2013

The feeling of freedom, the moment a boy becomes a man, the moment a girl becomes a woman- indeed moving out of your parents home is the ultimate sign of “independence” apparently. Yet latest studies have shown that more and more Australians are staying home with Mum and/or Dad for a longer period of time. One-quarter of people aged 20 to 34 continue to live in the home of their mostly baby boomer parents, a social researcher with McCrindle Research, Mark McCrindle, says. McCrindle says half of the Australians aged 25 to 29 who live in the parental home have moved out and then returned.

I just hit 29 years of age and indeed i still live with my parents, yet let me give you a wonderful context of the conditions i live in. My parents are absolutely wonderful people, beautiful souls that i get a long with and we share a bond of trust and appreciation that is unmatched. It is a mutual joy to be in each others presence and we have made it clear that if we become a burden to one another we will let each other know. The position i am in is entirely voluntary, non conflicting and mutual. This news, that i still live with my parents has been met by some scathing remarks by the liberal butterflies who have left their nests and suddenly become spokespersons of “independence”.

They seem to assume that i am some leech that feeds off my parents, some lazy useless grown “baby” that does not and cannot do his own washing, cook or let alone make my own bed. All of these are mere assumptions with actually zero basis because despite living at home, essentially i am only home a couple days a week due to my job and i am a grown MAN that can cook, clean and look after himself. I cannot count how many people i have spoken to who talk about “room-mates from hell” and “evil flatmates” and “creepy bedfellows”.  Getting along with your own parents is difficult enough but to share properties with strangers, or sometimes even friends can ultimately turn out to be a living hell.


Room mates from hell are so common, they have their own twitter #hashtag.

Room-mates that don’t do their share, who use your items and products, who are late in rent payments or don’t pay at all and those who are just unpleasant to be around all testify to the fact that i personally have not made the wrong decision by staying home. Why would i, or should i volunteer to put myself in such a situation when i have wonderful living conditions right now, just to fit in to the modern guise of “independence”? All of which could be reached in an individual level regardless of location? The only suitable time i would find for myself to move out is when i A) Become a burden to my parents, B) Move out with a girl i marry, C) Reach an age i feel is inappropriate to be at home.

Many people do not put into account why so many people leave their nest so soon, i have known many young people who had literally just turned 18 and moved out of their homes, yet in some of these cases i noticed a trend. First of all an unhealthy relationship with their parents, many that immediately move out want the “freedom” to do what they want and do not see eye to eye with their parents. It’s  not always the childs fault, sometimes the parents have been unreasonable and “pushed” their kids out of their homestead, either way many people move out because of this unhealthy family relationship.

Yet what sometimes happens is when these people, who were technically forced out of their nests become a product of societies vision of individuality and independence, they at times can grow an ego. Often putting down those who still live at home, often ridiculing them for their inability to let go of mummy and daddy, technically spoiled Mummy’s boys and Daddy’s girls who are fed everything with a golden plate and spoon. Yet the fact remains these people would love a safe,comfortable and loving household and if they were not pushed into their situation, indeed they very likely too would not be so fast to “spread their wings”.


Me and my parents.

Another thing that i do find hard to grasp is if you do have a loving family and live in a comfortable household where saving has become easy, who then in their right mind volunteer to struggle and suffer when they absolutely do not have to.? Especially since living in Australia has pretty much never been so expensive, why when i can live life comfortably spending and saving with little fear or insecurity should i put my hand up to be on struggle street every day of the week? That idea is absolutely absurd but some people do it, all to gain this “independence” which they still could gain if only they had utilized and facilitated their skill.

If you are the social media-pop culture type, there are some celebrity inspirations to make you feel a little less awkward about it. For example, tennis star Rafael Nadal who is 27 years old still lives with his parents. ‘I haven’t found a better place to live than with my parents’ he said, with a dazzling smile in a 2012 interview. 38 year old actor Bradley Cooper from the famous “Hangover” movies lives with his mother after his father passed away. Cooper jokes “It’s not like I live in a compound and she’s in the guesthouse. No. She’s in the next room.” Dev Patel the main star of the classic film “slumdog millionare” still lives at home with his parents as he is about to turn 24. Beautiful Actress Jennifer Lawrence, turning 23, from the famous “Hunger Games” movies also still lives at home she stated “I am not ready to own a place yet.”

Spanish player Rafael Nadal celebrates his French Open Victory

27 year old Rafael Nadal, still lives at home.

I pay my family money, i pay pretty much all the groceries, i chip in to their financial needs and we have a productive relationship of give and take which is entirely fair. All in the while i am on a saving streak, besides no girl wants a broke ass guy, so whilst a girl may like the “independence” of a man that has left his nest and is living on his own, little does she know that he is also broke as a joke and completely inflexible in regards to finances on factors besides rent. Sure a girl can look at me and scoff for living at home, but perhaps she’d be more impressed by the fact that i purchased my own cars, paid entirely for my own holidays and eventually saving for my own property all without a sweat.!At the end of the day when i have kids i will do as my parents did, keep my arms wide open for them and tell them my home is their home, even well after 18.

Australia has never been so unaffordable.

If my children choose to move out that is fantastic because believe me i can see the appeal of living out there in the big world, it’s exciting and it is challenging and definitely is a change of scenery but there is a reason half of these people return back to their parents after a while. They realize that “Big world” out there isn’t always as pretty as it seems- financial strain, roommates from hell and the pains of constantly jumping to and fro from location to location can essentially put a big stain on that excitement. I want to move out with a person i love, a person i plan to spend my entire life with, a woman i will call my wife. For me friends are friends, close associates we spend time with a lot but not necessarily have to live with, for me leaving one nest of love (family) to another (spouse) is a beautiful transition of a healthy home and a healthy habit, so make the most of it ladies and gentlemen! 🙂

Peace, Salam.