Hey there, yes you! Are you an Alpha or a Beta? Well how about you just say you’re a fucking Charlie and be yourself without caging yourself into a societal frame that is not designed to set you free but instead is designed to imprison you into a shadow of your true self.

Yes, there is a certain pressure with being both male and female in today’s World, yet being a Man myself i feel that i can kick my feet back and have a little say on this subject. I was a weird kid, without doubt, growing up as a young boy i didn’t really fit into any particular stereotype of what it is to be a young man. I experimented, just like all kids do.

Some days i pulled out the race cars and drove them around my fold out street map that i’d place on the floor and other days i’d open my Mothers cupboard and have a laugh as i tried to wobble in her high heels…and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that, in fact i take back that “weird” kid jibe i just hit myself with.

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Growing up from a boy to a teenager to a man is one rollercoaster.

As i hit adulthood i was at the receiving end of intense bullying, both physical and mental that lasted for 7 years- it was relentless and for a number of factors. Whether it was my weight, my nose, my heritage or simply that i apparently had a slappable head- all i know is that turning from a “Boy” to a “Man” was going to be a long and difficult journey, as it is with many others.

Either way, eventually my confidence boosted, i joined the gym and lost 22kg and my lovable personality came out to shine, for years it had been hidden in some dark grim closet that was so comfortably sad, it had developed cobwebs and mould.

In this transformation from Teenager to Man i knew the battle wasn’t over because not only was i facing the trials of my own personal demons- i now had to put myself on show. I was exposed to the World and had to try and find my “place”. Where did i fit in the paradigm of being a Man in today’s world.?

First of all, don’t compare yourself to others for it is not a helpful route. Comparing yourself to others isn’t a motivational call to self improvement, in fact it is simply a road that will lead to being a false carbon copy of another being. In today’s World a Man is categorized in two main ways, either as the “Alpha”– who is a dominant and strong leader that has drive and success or the “Beta” who is a submissive and weak follower that is at best a pushover.

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The Mythological “Alpha”.

Society always throws “A Real Man” Memes at us but again, these memes are not inspirational, in fact they form part of the problem. There is no “real man” – indeed he is simply a mythological creature that belongs in fairy tale books. We are then confronted with confusing labels such as being referred to as “gentlemen” whilst we are also expected to be strong forces that are rough around the edges.

We are shunned for saying “Boys will be Boys” yet then also shunned if a boy acts like a girl. We see these grown Men nowadays who are so controlled by their label that they walk around with their thick necks, staunched shoulders and intimidating attitudes trying to play character. Almost like a Cos-play of a mythological figure, these Men are not in control of themselves, in fact they are daily on edge trying to be legitimate pretenders- society expects this of them, apparently so, and they fall for it hook, line and sinker.

Recently i was invited by a close friend to a “Mens Club” on Facebook and this page was truly disturbing. It was the epitome of what is wrong with society and how Men are falling trap to this system they can voluntarily pull out of but clearly are afraid to do so.Β In this group are thousands and thousands of Men from all around the World, who are venting to each other, disclosing personal issues, family dramas, relationship woes and true cries for help all in the midst of the security blanket of a “Male Ear” because they are afraid to express themselves in the real World, a World where Family, Friends, Women and Counselors exist.

All of these Men are afraid to express themselves to the Real World, so instead they create a club, a “safe haven” where they can use their God given right- their voices.
I didn’t find this empowering, that all of my Brothers around the World need secret clubs like this where they only want a fellow Man to hear their problems. It was blatantly obvious that these guys of all different races, ages and regions felt that if they were to speak out in the World how they are in this page, they’d be ostracized and suddenly downgraded to “Beta Males” for shedding tears and expressing true Human Emotions…It’s a train wreck. A calamity.

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I scrub off alright for being a “Charlie” Male πŸ˜‰

True success is in being comfortable in your own skin and not being afraid to be a Human Being. True success is not giving a damn what people think and its utilizing all of your natural faculties- your logic, reason and yes, your emotions! It is funny that the same people that once told me to “Man Up” when i expressed myself to them are the same Men that are found on these Facebook Pages where men are hiding under a metaphorical blanket. Is it more cowardly to outwardly express yourself and your vulnerabilities as a man to the Entire World or to lurk in hidden groups and express yourself solely to other Men in secret? I’ll let you be the judge of that.

Each day i am trying to “perfect” who i truly am and i have no shame in being a Man. A Man that is so raw and real that if i’m having a shit day, i will tell you, or if i feel like a shoulder to lean on i will go ahead and do it! Or if i need to shed some tears like i am watching “The Notebook” re-runs then i will rightfully do so, all without losing my claim as a Man because i don’t belong to a label, i am not a product for you to stick your labels on and i wish more Men could take that attitude on board and create their own empire, as opposed to ignorantly sitting in a shelf along with their fellow Man. It’s a comfortable place to be but it’s an exceptionally sad and boring place to be.

Salam.

-Ramey.E

 

 

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Comments
  1. Ivonne Munoz says:

    I believe it is more cowardly for men to hide their emotions in some secret group. Men have emotions as well and should be able to express their feelings without being judged as weak or soft. Unfortunately (most) boys are taught that men don’t cry, and are often told to “man up.” This is part of many cultures. I can clearly state that most women (and I personally) admire a man who is able to show their emotions, and not care what others think. That is what definately makes a real man.

    • ramio1983 says:

      Hey Ivonne thanks so much for your insight and a wonderful female perspective to this article. It’s absolutely true, men are taught to be “men” and not human and that is the problem. The suicide rate for Males Worldwide is shocking and its taken many young men and yet nothing is being done to fix the problem, that is why it’s perhaps best we start with ourselves when it comes to promoting change. I truly hope Most Women feel like you and enable their man to be themselves as opposed to some character society has created for them, peace out πŸ™‚

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