Posts Tagged ‘sexism’

You know i like to think of myself as quite a modern gentleman. Sure i stick with some traditionalist views and i am a bit old fashioned in some aspect but i am more than open to new ideas and advancements in the World. Lately there has been many loud cries in regards to gender segregation, particularly of Muslims in the Western World.

Apparently events run by Muslims have been “investigated” to be segregating genders, males on one side of the room and females on the opposite side of the room. Sure this does sound like a very different format that we are all used to- seeming we are a nation that identifies with co-mingling in every sense of the word.

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Scenes like the ones pictured above where Men and Women are “Segregated” In Muslim events has caused major uproar in the media about sexism.

 

This uproar though has caused massive media stir and juicy controversy. In order to prove that Islam is a religion that hates women, the fact that they must sit across from men in their religious meetings and mosques indeed proves this is a religion that discriminates against women- apparently.

Yet hold on one moment, you might be surprised to know Gender Segregation is already alive and well in our communities and nobody is kicking up a stink about it at all! In fact, even worse – we openly practice Gender discrimination– Let me give you a few classic examples here in the West that is happening right now.

 

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Female only gyms are becoming more popular.

Womens Only Gyms:

Currently across the country there are women only gyms. Am i as a male to take offence at this? Why can’t a woman workout in the same room as me? Is it because i am a man? Am i being perceived as a pervert?  Are women frightened of me?

Womens Only Cycling Group:

There are groups right now in Australia where women can only cycle with other women. Women instructors and Women cyclists. 

Womens Only Clubs:

The Lyceum Club in Melbourne, Australia is a perfect example of a strictly female only club. One of the main reasons this club exists is to keep every day women away from the “gaze” of men. Only male guests that know female members can visit.

Womens Only Cosmetic Surgery Teams:

Feel like a quick nip and a tuck but don’t want a dirty man to touch you? Too easy because right now you can take advantage of an all female cosmetic surgery team here in Sydney, Australia.

*Yet when a Muslim lady once asked for a female only doctor, her request made NEWS HEADLINES!Monash Hospital Agrees to female only doctor-after complaint”

Dinah

Dinah, the Worlds Biggest Party. For Women Only. For Lesbians only. No Males. No Straights.


World’s Biggest Party- For Women Only!:

Dinah is the Worlds Biggest Lesbian Pool Party that attracts up to 20,000 women only in Los Angeles, USA. Gay males? Keep out! Girls only bucko!

Womens Only Aged Care Facility:

The Opal Austral House in Manly, Sydney, Australia is one of many examples of “Womens Only” aged care facilities. Here they can feel safe and secure from their fellow old men.

Womens Only “Hackathon” Events:

Sydney and Melbourne last year hosted their first Womens Only Hackathon events. Where only female coders got together to share their tech-savvy views.

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Womens only train carriages exist Worldwide. Now proposed in Australia.

Womens Only Train Carriages:

Up to 10 countries already have “Women Only” carriages on their trains and a few of them are in developed countries too. This year Australia proposed a potential new “pink carriage” for female travelers only.

Now there is one very important difference between all of the examples above and the examples of Muslim Gender segregation in events. The Muslim events that are being scrutinized are INCLUSIVE of both sexes. Regardless of seating practicalities both men and women can attend.

Yet all of the examples that i highlight to you above (and there are many more). We find that it is gender EXCLUSIVE. So genders aren’t segregated but one entire gender is openly discriminated against. For example- as a male i could visit these Muslim events and functions. As a female you could visit these Muslim events and functions. Yet as a male i could NOT visit the above gyms. As a male i could NOT visit the above clubs. As a male i could NOT take part in the above events.

So when you scope out and take a look at these scenarios comparatively, we would clearly see that one of them is actually more discriminatory, because it openly doesn’t “segregate” the sexes but it actually isolates an entire sex. Yet there are no complaints about the above examples we find in our Western nations.

I believe that life is about choices. A woman, in a Muslim event should have the choice to sit with women or sit in an “open” environment- should she choose.  Yet with the examples i show above, do i- as a male have the choice to workout in that gym or join that party? Not at all! So essentially…Is Gender Segregation really such a big deal?

 

Bristol Jamia Mosque,  Totterdown

Muslims in general, like any other community can and do free-mingle. Yet they wish to maintain the option for gender segregation in Islamic functions and events.

The option of having a “female only” section is something i have no problem with. Should a woman (or man) choose to prefer to be segregated then that is their prerogative. Yet for society to openly ban this idea of segregation and hence therefor force women, or men for that matter to sit in a manner that makes them uncomfortable is not a beneficial environment to me.

If a woman today is given the freedom to workout in a Female only gym to feel more comfortable, then i do not see the hostility to giving a Muslim woman the freedom to sit with females only in a Muslim function. 

To me there is a clear double standard where our current Western Society proudly boasts about the examples i gave you above. Where sexes are not segregated but sexes are clearly discriminated against. Nobody raises their voices in concern, cries foul or writes lengthy news articles about this norm. Yet once a Muslim wants to exercise their choice to sit in a segregated environment then all hell breaks loose.

It’s just oddly peculiar.

Peace

-R

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Our Mission is Protest! Our Weapon are bare breasts!” – This is the Mission Statement of extreme Feminist group FEMEN who for the last few years have appeared in many Media Outlets flashing their breasts and scrawling bold statements across their mostly naked bodies to promote women’s rights.

Lets be honest, their official mission statement almost sounds like a parody. Yet these girls take themselves very seriously. They claim their “God” is a “Woman” yet also simultaneously state their FEMEN “Ideology” is Atheism. It almost appears that this group even today is unaware of what exactly they are and what exactly they stand for.

Let us first give you a brief history of this feminist group. The group was founded in the Ukraine in 2008. The group carries about 170 “active protesters” across Europe and boasts a “social support group” of approximately 25,000 people. Given these facts and figures, the numbers are quite underwhelming yet the bottom line is these controversial ladies are stirring societies pot, yet the question one must beg is- “Are their protests actually useful?

A couple of days ago the FEMEN group attended a “Muslim conference” in France of which Men were up on stage talking about the rights of women in Islam. Moments before the men get up to speak the two women take over the stage with their bare breasts shouting “Nobody Makes me Submit!“. The Men giving the speech backed away and let the women take the stage- moments before being shoved and even kicked off the stage by one man. In typical FEMEN style the women are carried away as they leave desperate screams in the background, not leaving without a “fight”.

FEMEN protester crashes Muslim Conference in France.

FEMEN protester crashes Muslim Conference in France.

Yet further evidence that these women are confused as to what their goal is lies in the message they were promoting that night. “Nobody Makes Me Submit!“. Who is asking her to submit? And to who exactly? Is she talking about Muslim men making them submit? Oddly enough they are not Muslim so nobody is asking them to supposedly submit and never is the word “submit” issued for Muslim women in regards to how they treat their husbands. Is she talking about Muslims making them submit to Allah? Very unlikely to happen, especially in France.

So the end result with this protest is that it makes them look like a couple of crazy women screaming about nonsense flashing their breasts to a bunch of unsuspecting Muslims- it doesn’t appear the point hit home this time. It almost appears to me that the FEMEN group tend to much favour controversy over tackling genuine issues and doing productive things to actually make a change to Women’s rights around the world.

They have protested against some good causes- misogyny, unfair pay, domestic violence, religious extremism and more. Yet simply because they tend to protest against some unjust causes it doesn’t mean their way about it is reasonable. Appearing in public and private events and functions, being loud and disruptive, being mostly naked and using profanities and vulgarity in front of Men, Women and Children are actions that speak louder than the cause. Their “message” is wiped away by their sheer loudness. They tend to scream “Look at me!” instead of “Look at my cause” and that is why i deem FEMEN to be a failure in the world of protests and activism.

FEMEN protester hacking off a cross in a park.

FEMEN protester hacking off a cross in a park.

There is absolutely no evidence, in their 7 years of “service” that their means of protest has birthed any actual change to the causes they are supposedly fighting for. There is no evidence that their fight has yielded a reawakening of minds when it comes to the plights of Women’s rights and feminism. On the contrary many see FEMEN as a public nuisance- a bunch of self righteous women who simply bring attention to themselves, rather than their causes.

Oddly enough, if they were to protest (with their clothes on) in regards to Women’s rights, they’d find that their cause would shine brighter because people wouldn’t be too busy tackling them into police vans or taking screenshots of their breasts. There are many respectable, proud, strong and defiant Women’s rights groups that fight for women and do so in a dignified fashion. They make their cause their aim and their aim their cause. This is how awareness is given- not by the less you wear but by the more you say. When FEMEN make their statements shouting 5 word slogans and painting 5 words across their bodies they are doing more than simplifying many Women’s right issues around the world.

FEMEN protesters always quickly find themselves in this position.

FEMEN protesters always quickly find themselves in this position.

They are making the plight of Women’s rights more difficult because their methodology puts a negative light on the understanding of true Feminism. They put a massive blot on the hard work many other Women have done in regards to combating issues facing women in today’s societies. Let me give you a wonderful example of a WOMAN who has done MUCH for womens’ rights in a humbling, respectful and defiant matter.

Angelina Jolie. 

Angelina Jolie. This woman does activism right.

Angelina Jolie. This woman does activism right.

Whilst Femen are out shouting at the Pope, burning crosses and painting each others breasts, we have this Celebrity who has done more than they ever could. Angelina Jolie has traveled to the World’s most impoverished nations, she has spoken to Women of all cultures and religions, she has spoken with pride at the United Nations fighting for the rights of the poor, women and refugees. She’s all class and FEMEN are all crass. The sooner we all realize this, the better.

Peace, Salam- Ramey

Let us start this topic with some statistical facts. Around the world men are in general more likely to commit suicide than women, bar the exceptions to the rule of course. For example in Australia men are 2.5 times more likely to kill themselves than women. In the UK men are 3 times more likely to kill themselves than women and in the USA men are 4 times more likely to kill themselves than women.

So we see a startling pattern here, men are having some critical life issues that are barely addressed and i think it is fair to make the statement that although men are not to be perceived as “vulnerable” these statistics show that indeed men are vulnerable when it comes to taking that step to ending it all and as a society we should be doing and saying things to reduce these shocking statistics.

Now let me welcome you to the all too familiar case of the Mythical “Real Man”. Indeed such language has filled my facebook feeds, news articles, twitter sphere, movies, radio and television screens. Surely you have heard it all before right? Where constantly men are being barraged about what exactly entails a “Real Man” and the most interesting thing is the people that are generally telling men how to be “real” men are…women.

Awesome, does this apply to "real women" too?

Great, does this apply to “real women” too?

Now let me first make a confession, i have never personally confronted a woman for not being a “real woman” nor have i given her a list of demands of mine that she must tick in order to become a “real woman”. Society would scorn us men, rightfully so- if we told women that “Dressing Modestly” & “Having dinner  ready by 5” constitutes a real woman. Society does not think it is right or fair for men to step in and tell women how they should behave and what attributes and actions suddenly make them “real”.

Yet when it comes to men we see that the opposite is true. Men are often being told how to act and what to do- based on a fabricated societal framework that somehow thinks it has the right to tell a man what makes him “real”. Those memes that flood my Facebook wall make me sick of men being told “A REAL MAN DOES…[insert thought or action that literally means nothing here]. Then if your man does not meet these demands he must be a useless sissy boy with undescended testicles.

Male Suicide rates in most countries are double, triple or quadruple that of women.

Male Suicide rates in most countries are double, triple or quadruple that of women.

The most frightening aspect of this entire topic is that men are so used to be told how to act and what to do that even men themselves subjegate themselves to the myth. We see men writing books about “real men” and we start to see men accuse other men of not being “real men”. The sad truth is these men are programmed into such thoughts and it only further causes a self depreciation amongst men, this time not only accusing themselves- yet accusing others of falling short.

The fact of the matter is the “REAL” man is a mythological creature– he simply does not exist and he is a figment of societies imagination. Usually the imagination of angry women who wish to confine men virtually into a box in a checklist. In my humble opinion and speaking as a man i can tell you right now that a “REAL” man is a male who does exactly what he wants and lives according to his heart and values- whatever they might be. Anything you try to add or take away from him is simply a disturbance of your own expectations and he is under no compulsion to bow down to them.

The 11 Commandments of a "real man" - is there also the female version or...?

The 11 Commandments of a “real man” – is there also the female version or…?

Look, i don’t want to start some gender war here. I love women and accept them for who they are. The fact is generally men do not go around- with the backup of society- telling women what makes them real or not. Imagine what it must feel like for a depressed middle aged man with minimal income, low self esteem, low sexual stamina and little to no looks to hear that he ticks next to no “REAL MAN” boxes. What exactly does that do to his mind? How much does it pull at his heart that he cannot be and never will be a so called real man.

This is partially why vulnerable men end up committing suicide. Men need stronger support systems to protect them from these dire statistics. The first thing to stop this madness is by easing the expectations of society on men and to allow men to explore their own emotions, character and nature. Sure when it comes to women there are all of these superficial expectations like being “thin, young and beautiful” yet when it comes to men all of these expectations turn Real and are not superficial like “Men should speak like this, look like that, pay for this, approach this like this, do things like this“. Yet it doesn’t stop there it also goes on tell you what Real men should NOT do like – “Real men do not hit, real men do not curse, real men do not cheat, real men do not lie etc.etc.”

Hi, my name is Ramey and i am a "real man"! :-)

Hi, my name is Ramey and i am a “real man”! 🙂

Society (and memes) constantly tell me what a REAL man is. Yet the fact is there is no REAL man. There are only Good and Bad men. If a man happens to do the wrong things he is a bad man, yet he is still a MAN. If a man happens to do the right things then he is a good man and indeed he is still a MAN. Yet the only thing about a REAL man that makes him real is that he follows what is within his own character and does not bow down to societies expectations. Men need to start accepting the fact that they do not need to prove to be real, nor do they need to prove to be men– all they have to do is prove to be themselves, it’s as simple as that.

Peace, Ramey.

Most of us have seen it by now, that famous viral video of a woman walking around in jeans and a black shirt in New York for 10 hours, whilst she was “cat called” by numerous men, whistled at, “daaamned” at and even followed. The video up to this point has attracted 39 million views worldwide and featured many serious reenactments from other cities around the world, including Mumbai & Cairo. The video also unintentionally opened up many parodies with people exclaiming that the video and its push to call “greetings” and “passing comments” as harassment to be a bit of a stretch. Either way, it definitely opened up a heightened awareness about sexual harassment.

The viral "Walking in NY as a woman for 10 hours"

The viral “Walking in NY as a woman for 10 hours”

Even more recently though was the controversy surrounding an American “dating guru” by the name of Julien Blanc. This man used a “domestic abuse chart” as a tool on how to encourage men to get their women to stay with them. This disturbing chart signaled that a man should humiliate his woman, intimidate her, choke her, threaten her with violence and make her financially dependent. Rightfully, many people have protested about Julien Blanc travelling internationally- giving his “Speeches and lectures” to young men using primitive dating tips.

Julien Blanc recently had to cut his trip to Australia short due to protests and having his visa cancelled by the Minister of Immigration- and a petition with well over 120,000 signatures has been used as a method to potentially ban him from visiting the United Kingdom. Reflecting upon this clear misogyny and his disgusting attitude towards women, i well and truly hear everyone’s grievances about his “teachings”.  Even though i am a strong believer in freedom of speech, people that do such things could cause an increased abuse rate by teaching young, stupid men that the only way to keep their women is to treat them like emotionless blow-up dolls.

Julien Blanc- Condemned worldwide for his sexist "dating guru" seminars.

Julien Blanc- Condemned worldwide for his sexist “dating guru” seminars.

Yet here comes the double standard, Julien Blanc has received worldwide condemnation as a misogynist who is glorifying the mistreatment of women, a fair call. Yet oddly enough the behaviour that this man promotes can be found elsewhere. This “elsewhere” is your local bookstore. A best seller, as a matter of fact. Are you familiar with the worldwide #1 best selling novel series “50 Shades of Grey” written by Erika Leonard James, yes…a woman.

The most baffling thing to me is that the world is condemning a man for encouraging men to be tough alpha males who dominate their women and treat them like servants, yet on the other hand the world is awfully supportive of a woman who encourages women to be submissive, dominated and treated like pieces of meat.

Author of "50 Shades Of Grey" E.L James

Author of “50 Shades Of Grey” E.L James

The 50 shades series is a worldwide hit ,yet is such “pop culture” reading any less dangerous for women than the ramblings of a supposed “dating guru”? Besides, they both preach the same things- let us look at the ideas of “Misogynist” Julien Blanc and “Inspirational Author” Erika Leonard James.

Julien Blanc – “Just go through Tokyo, grab girls and yell ‘Pikachu’ and put her head on your dick
Erika Leonard James- “He reaches between my legs and pulls on the blue string – what?! –he gently takes my tampon out and tosses it, Holy fuck. Sweet mother of all … Jeez. And then he’s inside me … ah! (50 Shades of Grey)

Julien Blanc- Openly calls for men to choke women, even creating a famous Hashtag.
Erika Leonard James- “Oh, fuck the paperwork,” he growls. He lunges at me, pushing me against the wall of the elevator. Before I know it, he’s got both of my hands in one of his in a viselike grip above my head, and he’s pinning me to the wall with his hips. ” (50 Shades of Grey)

Julien Blanc- Openly calls for men to abuse women.
Erika Leonard James- “He places his hand on my naked behind, softly fondling me, stroking around and around with his flat palm. And then his hand is no longer there … and he hits me—hard.” (50 Shades of Grey)

Julien Blanc- Openly calls for women to be submissive to men.
Erika Leonard James- “My body convulses at the sweet, stinging bite. My nipples harden and elongate from the assault, and I moan loudly, pulling on my leather cuffs.” (50 Shades of Grey)

50 Shades Of Grey is living proof subjugation of women is okay, if written by a woman.

50 Shades Of Grey is living proof subjugation of women is okay, if written by a woman.

Juliean Blanc- Openly calls for men to financially “own” women.
Erika Leonard James- “It’s taking all my self-control not to fuck you on the hood of this car. If I want to buy you a fucking car, I’ll buy you a fucking car. Now let’s get you inside and naked.”(50 Shades of Grey)

Julien Blanc- Openly calls for men to Intimidate women.
Erika Leonard James- “I’m mad and aroused because you closed your legs on me.”
Anastasia resists: ”Please don’t hit me. I don’t want you to spank me, not here, not now. (50 shades of grey)

Julien Blanc- Openly calls for men to use “mind games” to get sexual favours from women.
Erika Leonard James- “I want you, and I want you now. And if you’re not going to let me spank you – which you deserve – I’m going to fuck you on the couch this minute, quickly, for my pleasure, not yours.

Julien Blancs "Chart" to keep your woman almost mirrors Christian Greys character in "50 Shades Of Grey"

Julien Blancs “Chart” to keep your woman almost mirrors Christian Greys character in “50 Shades”

Now before i get my head bitten of by 50 Shade supporters who attempt to claim that the book is all about a “healthy relationship full of sexual encounters” . I’d have to say that perhaps a superficial reading may promote that idea. Yet once you actually study the characters and their roles we find that Christian Grey at times

A) Doesn’t get consent to sex.
B) Emotionally blackmails Anastasia.
C) Makes her get used to being submissive, both in and out of their sex lives.
D) Uses his wealth and riches to entice her to try things she is reluctant to try.
E) Pins her against walls, pulls her hair, hits her (hard), chokes her and “Experiments” on her.

Given these “characteristics” of the character Christian Grey and the terrifying thought that he is any womans “dream man” reveals to me that the novels by E.L James are just as dangerous as the “date advice” given by Julien Blanc- yet one is a worldwide condemned sexist, whilst the other is literally a glorified novelist. Just because a woman gives the right to a woman to play such a role in relationship does not mean that the character is empowered.

So we have Julien Blanc attempting to turn men into aggressive apes and he gets a worldwide backlash, whilst we have E. L James who is attempting to turn women into submissive “play things” overpowered by aggressive apes but somehow she makes many millions of dollars for it.

What's wrong? Juliet Blanc is only pretending to be Christian Grey.!

What’s wrong? Juliet Blanc is only pretending to be “your dream guy” Christian Grey.!

So above we have the ideals of a Misogynistic male who has made worldwide headlines, so much as far as getting him banned for his vile talks encouraging men to behave in such a way. Yet above we also have a #1 best selling female author who speaks the same language that he does, yet somehow her work is liberating and “female friendly” despite her 50 shades character being a “willing victim” of such misogynistic characters. Bizarre indeed.

In fact Erika Leonard James books caused such a positive worldwide stir that they are just about to release a movie based on her kinky novels. People are waiting with anticipation and excitement to see Julien Blancs ideal “man” come to life on the big screen, but i guess it’s only okay when this Alpha male is the caricature of a females mind and not vice versa.

Peace, Ramey.